things I wish I could tell my 15 year old self

I turned 30 a few months back, and I have to say, I finally feel like I'm hitting my stride. No existential life crisis for me. All the stuff I worried about in my 20s (OK, not all, but a lot of it) seems to be coming together. More likely, though, I'm more confident about who I am and I make better decisions because of it. Basically, 30 is the bomb.

All of this self realization made me think: if I had the chance to time travel back to my 15 year old self, half a lifetime ago, what advice would I have for her? This is what I came up with:

Stop worrying about getting boobs. You may only have "nearly As" now, but they will come. It won't be until college, so stop obsessing about it. One day you will nurse babies and they will balloon up to Ds. And them down to Cs. And then back to Bs. My point is, at some time in your life you will wear all the sizes. For now, enjoy the fact that you have zero percent body fat and look awesome in everything. You do. You just don't know it. Enjoy eating cheese fries for lunch every day and not gaining weight, because, girlfriend, those days are numbered. You will learn about carbs in about 10 years and will have to limit your fried foods to, like, once twice a week.

that blue background is majestic

Stop comparing yourself to everyone else. Most likely they are just as painfully insecure as you are, because 15 year olds are stupid and awkward and have literally nothing figured out. And the people who are oh-so-popular now should enjoy their moment, because none of that stuff matters when your grown up. They will not become professional athletes or professional cheerleaders. They will be small fish in the same big world as you, and you'll have a leg up, because...

Nerds rule the world. It's true. You don't know who Mark Zuckerberg is yet, because he's 14, but he is a huge nerd who will be a zillionaire in 10 years. And along with all of his nerdy friends, they will rule it all. And the "popular kids" won't even be invited to the party. Be happy that you're smart and learn as much as you can while you don't have to worry about who is going to pay for it.

too bad it didn't work out between me and aquaman

Be proud to be unique. You don't know it now, but everyone else in high school just wants to fit in too. You spend all of your energy trying to be like everyone else. But let me let you in on a little secret. When you graduate from college, the tables turn. Everyone now spends all of their energy trying to differentiate themselves. The people who have the best jobs and best friends and best spouses are the ones who are different and happy in their own skin. Hang in there. Your time is coming. 

For the love of God, stop worrying about boys. And if they like you. And if they looked at you in the hallway. And that they didn't call. Or maybe they did call but you don't know it since you don't have a cell phone because they were invented 5 minutes ago. The important boys will pursue you. If they like you they will call, and will keep calling until they reach you. Or they'll walk to your dorm room. Or they will try to arrange "meet cutes" so they can bump into you. The point is, let them try.

But just because they do like you doesn't mean you have to like them back. And your high school sweetheart that you can't fathom living without? You will break up because you are going to meet the man of your dreams in just 4 short years. And your dream man will love you just for you. And your imperfections. He will love that you're tall and skinny and awkward and smart and nerdy. And one day, he will give you the two other little boys that will make you finally understand what true love is. The way God loves is. Fully and unconditionally.

And don't worry, Your HS sweetheart will meet the love of his life in 4 years too, and they will move to Alaska and have a baby and be totally happy too. You really don't want to live in Alaska, so it's all for the best.

don't worry, JTT will always be there for you

Quit losing sleep that you're not "the pretty one." You're the funny one, the tall one, the smart one, and then artsy one. This ugly duckling stage will pass. Beauty comes and goes, but it always pays to be funny and smart. And you'll kind of build your whole career on that artsy thing. Oh, and stores are going to come out with "tall" and "long" size clothes soon, so you won't always look like you are preparing for a flood. Thanks be to God.

Your prom photos will haunt you forever. Make better choices. Red lipstick isn't for everyone.

you guys know I love humiliating myself for you, but I had to draw the line at prom.
black & white hides the awful awful red lipstick.

Ease up on Mom and Dad. You are being a total jerk to your parents, and they love you more than anyone on the planet. Their only 3 motivations for every decision they make revolve around: trying to keep you alive, trying to shape you into a decent human being, and loving you so much they can hardly stand it. Oh, and you'll grow up to be a lot like them. It's true. So hug them in public and say "thanks" and "I love you" more often. 

Same goes for your brother.  He may be an irritating 9 year old now, but he will soon change into a real human being who will always have your back and be your lifelong friend. He'll be your biggest fan, and you'll be his. No other friendship you have will ever be this strong.

BFFs. Some of the friends you have now you will keep forever. You will live feed the Oscars with them and share photos of cats and kids with them. You will move far away from each other, but this new fangled thing called The Internet will let you stay in touch every single day. Others you will let go of, and that's OK too. Because despite what some people say, you'll continue to make friends throughout your whole life. Mainly because you can keep a conversation going with a brick wall. It's a good skill to have and will serve you well in your life.

Your skin finally starts to clear up when your 30, but not before. You still have 15 more years left of acne. Sorry. 

Keep going to church. It's like the one thing you're doing right.  That and avoiding sex/drugs/drinking. Nearly everyone that dabbles in that in high school winds up regretting it. There is a time for all of that (well, not the drugs). Wait for the right time. You'll be glad you did. 

Finally, enjoy the ride. These are the last few care free years of your life before you have real responsibilities. Soak it up.

When it's said and done, it's OK that I can't time travel back to that person. I would have been too dumb to take the advice anyway, because teenagers know they know everything. Until they realize they don't. 

Is there anything you guys would add to this list? Maybe do your teenage kids/grandkids/neighbors/friends a solid and forward this on. Maybe they'll listen (they won't), but it will make you feel better.