my new mom essentials list

I've been around the block on this baby business twice now. The first time I had a lot of things, but not necessarily the right things. The second time around I had a much better handle on what was a must, what I could do without, and what would be reaaaaly nice to have.

I've assembled my "best of" list for any moms-to-be out there. These items are mostly related to nursing mamas, since that was my experience. Not that it's the only way, it's just what I know.

1. Nursing tanks. This is what you will live in for the days (and weeks...and maybe months) after the baby arrives. Bring them to the hospital. Have lots of them. There's no such thing as too many. You'll sleep in them. You'll wear them under non-nursing friendly clothes. They will be your life.
2. Nursing bras. Most of the ones you find look like old grandma bras, but they don't have to. Target has an awesome selection of nursing bras that might actually make you feel cute again. My advice - wait until AFTER your milk comes in to buy a bra. I went up a full cup size in two days from the time I had Max to the time my milk came in 36 hours later. Yowza.
3. Nursing friendly shirts. I'm actually wearing this one right now. I have it in 2 colors. Loose enough to camouflage the left over baby bump that will still be hanging with ya for awhile (sad but true).
4. Hair bands. These are gentle on your hair and will keep it out of your face, which you'll want. You think you'll be that gorgeous TV mom that has perfect hair during delivery, but unless you're having a C-section, it's just not going to be the case.
5. Beauty treatment mask. This seems like a strange one, I know, but my sweet friend Lauren made me a hospital kit and it had several of these in there. Let me tell you, it felt sooo nice to take 5 minutes for myself after I had felt so completely grody, and my skin felt amazing afterwards.
6. Make up remover towels. In the off-chance that you actually have some make up on in those early days, you will be too exhausted to wash it off the old fashioned way. Have these handy for those times.
7. Mascara. It will make you look less zombie-like in all of those hospital room photos. Because that fluorescent light is oh-so-flattering.
8. Compact make up. Because ain't nobody got time for liquid makeup and a brush.
9. Disposable nursing pads. I tried to be 'green' and use the re-usable washable kind with baby #1. Do you know what happened? My boobs leaked through them, and my bra, and my shirt, and I had a house full of male co-workers at my home. Mortifying. Do yourself a favor and buy a box of the disposables. Only now, 6 months after Max is born, is my milk supply regulated enough to use the washable ones, and I'm only brave enough to wear them at the house.
10. Cheap slippers. Let's get real. Gross stuff comes out of you after you have a baby. It might end up on the floor and on your feet. Get yourself some cute (cheap) slippers that you wouldn't be heartbroken about throwing away after you leave the hospital.
11. Lip balm. Once your milk comes in, you will not be able to keep enough water in your system, and your lips will hurt real bad (Napoleon Dynamite reference? Anyone?). Make sure you have these in every room of the house.
12. Cheap undies. Same as #10 above, except grosser. Buy some undies that you will have no problem tossing after the first few weeks. You're going to feel like you're thirteen having your first period all over again (yeah, ok, I was a late bloomer). An unfortunate fact of life. The hospital will give you some lovely mesh "underwear" that will make you look and feel disgusting. After 24 hours you will want to be in something that actually resembles panties. And while you're at it, buy yourself a whole bunch of ridiculously large maxi-pads. Trust me. 
13. Ice Packs. Remember item #2 above when I grew an entire cup size in two days? Yeah, that didn't feel so good. Actually, it felt like my boobs were on fire. Put a cold compress on those puppies after you nurse for 30 minutes or so to ease the pain.
14. Nipple cream. I'm really not making nursing sound that glamorous, am I? Well, it may not be glamorous, but it's worth it. And it's only uncomfortable for most women for 1-4 weeks or so. Grab some nipple cream and apply it after each nursing session. Lanolin is safe for both mom and baby. One tube should be more than enough.
15. Nipple shield. I had some issues about 24 hours in with Henry getting him to latch. He just wouldn't eat, even though I knew he was starving. Ladies, this saved my life. He could latch and get milk and it didn't hurt me at all. I only needed 1, not a pair.
16. Nipple shells. I promise, this is the last time I'm going to say "nipple." If your nips get sore in those early days, these babies provide an air gap between the girls and any other layers you might be wearing. I ended up not needing these with baby #2 but couldn't have survived without them with baby #1.

What would the other mommas out there add to the list?

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After a month or so of prep, the big party went down this weekend. And I do mean big. At the end of the day, we had almost 40 people attend. I think I was trying to make up for the moderately pitiful 2nd birthday party Henry had last year. We were slightly homeless, staying with friends, until we closed on our current house...the day after Henry's 2nd birthday. We had a teeny tiny "party" which consisted of one guest and an ugly homemade cake with a plastic fire truck on it.

So this year, I went BIG.

I also have a pretty well known hatred for Party City, so I wanted to include as many handmade touches as possible. Mostly, because I have fun doing it. Also because it tends to be WAY cheaper.

Here's how it went down.

having it all was too much

First off, let me say that I am beyond amazed that so many of you tune into my little blog each week. My goal when I launched was to have 10 readers in the first month. Not quite 2 months in and simplyCRAFTED has passed 6,000 hits. 6,000 times someone has thought, "huh. this might be more interesting than whatever else I'm doing right now." It's humbling and I am so very grateful. Many of you have reached out through email, Facebook, phone, and even good o'l face to face conversations to tell me about how you can relate or are going through something similar to what I'm babbling about. 

I think what strikes a chord with so many of you is this epic, ongoing struggle of trying to cram everything into our lives and just not having enough time (or energy) to do it. For me, it was the pull between doing the creative work that I love vs. spending time with my family (whom I of course also love). For some of you, it may be the same age old work/life balance dilemma. For others it might be the desire to follow your own dreams vs. what others expect of you. And there are countless other combinations that I don't know about.

Whatever the reason, we all have a deep seeded need to live a fulfilling life, to find and live out our purpose, and also to pay the bills (minor detail) which drives most of us to overcommitt and over stretch ourselves to try and squeeze it all in - sometimes to the breaking point.

a new chapter: designing the life I want

Just a few short months ago, I was obscenely pregnant with my second kiddo, Max, working hard at an Architecture and Interior Design firm that I love, and trying to balance a successful and demanding career with family life, which includes my hubby, Steven, and 2.5 year old Henry. 

 

I happily entered maternity leave and we welcomed Max on November 13, 2013. I was thrilled and scared. At my core, I was truly fearful that I would fail at being a mom of 2. We all have those insecurities, I'm sure, but I was kind of terrified at the thought of keeping up with the demands of a newborn and a potty training toddler at the same time.

You see, I had not liked the mom I had become.  Anyone who has spent more than 8 minutes with a 2 year old can tell you that it's stressful and exhausting (and yes, rewarding and sweet and all that good stuff too).  But I would get home at the end of a stressful 9 hour day at work, and I would have nothing left to give my family. My temper was short and I wasn't enjoying motherhood like I wanted to. I needed to simplify my life. 

Then a funny thing happened. After Steven went back to work, and my mother in law left after taking care of us for 2 weeks (she's kind of a saint), and I was alone with both boys....I was happy. Not just "oh the boys were good so it was a good day" kind of happy, but "oh my goodness, this is exactly where I'm supposed to be, life-altering realization" happy. I really liked my job, and you can't ask for a better firm and better people to work with, but something had to give.  Leaving after 9 amazing years is the toughest decision I've ever made, but I knew in my heart of hearts that it was the right one.  At least for this season of my life. The boys will never be this small again, and if I was going to seize the opportunity, now was the time. 

Thankfully, Steven was totally on board.

Then began the long soul and budget searching process of determining if we could really do this. Cutting our income in half would be one challenge; one I will post about another day.  The other big concern (and the one I was most worried about), can I be creatively fulfilled long-term if I'm at home? Interior Designers are born, not made.  I can't turn it off. I need an outlet. 

That's where Simply Crafted comes in. It will hopefully be the vehicle for my creative endeavors. Interior Design, of course, but also cooking, baking, sewing, DIYing, parenting, organizing, dance parties in the kitchen, and all of the other things I could never find the time for while working 40+ hour weeks. 

This is not about being Wonder Woman or Super Mom. Far from it.  I am imperfect in every way, but through the grace of God I get up every morning and try again. It's about simplifying life. Living more by doing less. Spending time and energy on the things that really matter. Crafting the life I (and maybe you) always wanted. I'm blessed to have the chance to take this journey. 

Honestly, I'm doing this for me. If other people can relate and get some enjoyment out of it, even better. And if nothing else, my mom will like hearing about what's going on in my life (that is if she can figure out how to work the Internet.  Love you, mom).

Well, that's my story. At least the beginning of it. If I had the money, I'd give all four of you $100 for reading to the end, but it's not in the budget. But thanks anyway. Come back soon.

 

 

{beautiful photo by Emily Mulkey Photography}

XOXO

Tara